Da Orkiest 'Umies
by EternalCanadian
Summary: After a Warboss takes pity on a group of children he decides to raise them to be Orky in the hopes they can be the best fighters ever. This decision will shake the Galaxy to its core as Imperials, Eldar, Tau and Chaos alike react to the fact that humans have joined the WAAAGH!
1. Prologue 1

**Right, so, this is my first 40k fanfic. I hope this first chapter is to everyone's liking.**

 **Thanks to the folks on /r/40kLore for answering my questions, and thank you to Reddit User Skinlini for giving me the basis of this story. GitPunta was his name and I take no credit for it.**

 **Considering this is 40K, this story will be rated M (with occasional chapters being given the rating of MA in the chapter title) for depictions of gore, violence, language, etc. Basically, we're going the whole nine yards here people. Though, this is 40K, so what did you expect?**

 **Anyway, on with the chapter!**

* * *

The long forgotten planet once known as Altima XXI was an irrelevant world in an irrelevant system, next to a slowly dying star and with the only other inhabitable rock in the system a sad excuse for a moon, named Luna, after Terra's own moon.

The planet was an agriworld, its largest city would be considered nothing but a large town or small city even when compared to the metropolitan areas of 21st century Terra, though the city was just as irrelevant as the world. So out of the way and forgotten the planet was simply known as a stream of digits to be traveled to by traders and merchants. It was a planet with no name, not that it needed one, irrelevant as it was.

The planet's only relevance came from the agriculture it produced, grain and wheat, with occasional shipments of meat and milk from the animals that called it home. These animals had descended from Terran animals when the planet was originally settled thousands of years ago, and they had kept their appearance almost exactly.

Hundreds of years ago this world had been subverted by the Alpha Legion, but, like the rest of the system the planet was apart of that was just another irrelevant detail on a mountain of irrelevant details.

The planet, unlike the Hiveworlds it paid a tithe to, was serene and picturesque. Blue skies, green fields and clear, fresh lakes and rivers were but a small sample of its terrain. To some, it was a dream world, a place that didn't exist, destroyed millennia ago by war and death. To others it was a gem to keep hidden away, a personal retreat from the darkness surrounding the rest of the Galaxy, a place to hide from the war and death that loomed over all.

Currently however, the world was in turmoil, a small Ork raiding party, led by a Warboss by the name of GitPunta Da Furst, were currently bludgeoning the world for all she was worth.

In a small, out of the way homestead, one of the planet's residents prepared to defend everything he held dear.

A man was standing over a workbench, making final preparations for his last stand. The man, formerly a Guardsman Sergeant of the 5thrd Ultaris Regiment of Foot loaded his weapon, a modified Lasgun he had kept from his days in the Guard. He wore clothing typical of a farmer, and his boots were caked with mud from working the fields. His face, scarred and aged, showed his experience in combat, his grey hairs making him look much older than he was. Behind him, he heard the scampering of feet and turned to face his ten year old son, who was standing in the doorway, his face filled with fear.

"I told you to go down into the cellar, with the Jennings' girls." The Sergeant stated calmly, kneeling infront of the boy. Inwardly, the Sergeant sighed. His wife and the boy's mother had died from childbirth, leaving the Sergeant to take care of the boy by himself. The boy was kind and just, and always did as asked, but often disobeyed orders and disregarded duties that lasted more than ten minutes.

"I wanna help." The boy stated with an air of confidence that didn't hid his fear. The Sergeant shook his head.

"You can help by keeping the girls calm, keep them safe. That's your job as a Guardsman, remember, to protect the innocent." The Sergeant said softly, masking his sadness well. "Now you have your orders, Guardsman. I need them carried out."

The boy nodded and, barely holding back tears saluted his father. The Sergeant hugged his son before ruffling his dark brown hair.

"I need to go now, Josef. Keep the girls safe, remember, The Emperor Protects." He whispered into the Boy's, Josef's ear. The Sergeant stood up and retrieved his weapon as Josef ran back to the cellar with the girls.

The Sergeant exited the house and set up shop on the front porch, which was facing the fields. He could see the dust cloud as the Orks made their way over, and he readied himself for his last stand.

He fixed a bayonet to his Lasgun, then crouched and sighted the approaching Orks. There must have been dozens of them, definitely. The Sergeant steadied his breathing and waited for the first Ork to get in range.

The Orks were arranged in standard formation, with Gretchins up front and the Ork Boyz in back. The Sergeant aimed at an Ork Boy who looked to have a higher rank or title than his fellows and pulled the trigger of his Lasgun, sending a quick three round burst towards the horde, mentally muttering a chant his unit had said during every battle.

 _I am His shield._

The shots hit the Boy in the arms and chest and he fell. The Orks, who had depended on that particular Boy for leadership stopped their charge. Another three Lasgun shots hit the horde, hitting three Ork Boyz in their skulls they to dropped with loud thuds.

 _I am His Righteous fury._

One of the other Orks yelled the warcry so very common to them and they all began charging again. The Sergeant dropped a quartet of Gretchins and another Boy.

 _I am the face of unflinching devotion._

The Orks had gotten quite close now, and the Sergeant knew he'd be forced into melee. Still he fired away, whether by luck or Divine Intervention no shot missed, and every burst saw a kill.

 _I am the face of Humanity. His enemies tremble when they see our might._

The Boys began firing their Shoota's now, their shots missing him by inches as he continued to fire. One of the Ork Gretchins got past his withering Lasgun Fire and tried to stab him with a knife. The Sergeant lunged forwards, stabbing the Gretching with enough force to shove the barrel of his Lasgun through its skull.

 _No foe I face will survive, no foe I fight is invincible._

Two Boyz got up close and personal then, literally crushing the wooden porch under them. One tried to shoot the Sergeant, but he lashed out and stabbed the Ork in its shooting arm. Firing away on full power as he did so. Somehow, he managed to dodge the axe that was being swung in his direction. The Ork he had stabbed died soon after as the constant Lasgun shots blew him apart. The Sergeant half turned after dodging another axe swing and got a lucky shot to the other Ork's head, killing it. He continued his vicious killing spree worthy of an Astartes, unaware of the presence sneaking up on the homestead from the fields...

* * *

Warboss GitPunta Da Furst was da bestest Warboss in the entire sector, well, he was the only Warboss in the entire sector, but he didn't know that.

His WAAAGH was small, numbering only 300 Orks and Gretchins, but they had a roight proppa ship! It was an old Imperial Frigate, and it was da Orkiest ship around! His WAAGH might have been small, sure, and a competent PDF unit could have made short work of them, but they were tenacious and GitPunta wasn't like every other Warboss.

GitPunta believed in innovation, and in finding new ways to loot and fight. GitPunta hadn't ascended to the title of Warboss by fairly fighting other Orks, no, he was sneaky about it, he would rig matches or poison his competion so he would have the advantage in a fight.

Perhaos, if he had been human, he would have made a wonderful Inquisitor.

GitPunta had watched the lone 'umie fight his Boyz with fascinated interest. The 'umie had killed over a dozen Orks already, and was quickly bringing that number up to two dozen. He stabbed and slashed in a wicked, deadly watlz of death and carnage. GitPunta was impressed by the 'umie's skill that he decided the man should get a fair fight.

He called his Boyz back and they, ever the mindless peons fell back in good order. The Sergeant was suprised to see the Orks retreating, and he took the time to catch his breath. He was extremely puzzled, Orks never retreat. His body was pockmarked with wounds, slashes and stabs were visible everywhere, and his brow was drenched with sweat as he took heavy, laboured breaths.

GitPunta made his way out of the grain fields and stood before the destroyed house. The Sergeant crouched on the porch, his Lasgun was out of charge and his bayonet was embedded in an Ork, broken.

"Oi! 'Umie! You's a guud fighta so Iz'll make you's a deal! You and me have a right proppa fight. If you 'in, you's gets ta live! If Iz 'in, you's die! NOW COME OUT AND FIGHT YA GIT!" GitPunta bellowed jovially. The Sergeant, whether he believed GitPunta or not walked to the front yard, facing down the Warboss.

The Sergeant drew a knife from a sheath he had around his chest. The knife had originally belonged to a Death Korpsman Grenadier, who had given him the knife after they had taken a Tyranid position together many moons ago. The Sergeant took a long, heavy breath, muttering a prayer.

"Oi, are wez gunna fight?" GitPunta yelled. He readied his Big Choppa and prepared to charge.

Surprising GitPunta, however, was that the Sergeant was the first to charge, screaming a warcry, he held his knife in a standard grip and quickly closed the distance. GitPunta bellowed happily. Finally, a worthy 'Umie to fight!

As they reached the halfway point between contact a shot from an Ork shoota rang out and the Sergeant slowed, then stopped. He looked down at his chest, where a red stain was quickly forming. GitPunta stopped mid stride as well and watched, mesmerized, as the Sergeant fell to his knees. He coughed and sputtered and even tried to lunge at GitPunta in a futile last attempt to kill the large Ork.

GitPunta was heartbroken. He turned to face his mob of Orks, of which there were ten Boyz and twelve Gretchin remaining from the group who had originally attacked.

"WHICH OF YOU LITTLE GIT EATING SHITS KILLED DAT 'UMIE?" He yelled in a rare moment of proper speech. "YOU'S RUNIED EVERYFING!"

One of the Gretchin bravely stepped forward. "I'z did Boss, he waz just a dumb 'Um-" GitPunta, as his name suggested, punted that Git so far he smashed through the wall of the homestead a field away. He looked at his remaining Boyz and bellowed fiercely' "ALL OF YOU'S 'EAD TO DA CITY, WE'Z DONE HERE!"

The Orks, dejected that they wouldn't get to loot anything, nodded and grumbled their acknowledgment. They filed back the way they had came, leaving GitPunta alone on the homestead. He looked over the battlefield with a saddened grin. He turned his head down to look at the dying Sergeant.

"You's wudda made a gud Ork, 'Umie." He said respectfully. He was about to leave when he heard a sound coming from the homestead.

A baby's cry.

GitPunta got an idea then, a terrible, horrible idea, an idea that, decades later, would shake Ork and Imperial society to it's very core.

* * *

"Shut her up!" Josef whispered harshly to the oldest Jennings girl, Olivia. The five year old girl was barely calm herself, and she desperately tried to quiet her baby sister, Sofia.

The Jennings had asked Josef's father if he would watch their two girls while they went into the capital city on business for a week. Josef had hated the two girls almost as soon as he laid eyes on them.

Olivia was small for her age, with dark black hair and soft, brown eyes. She had her hair in a ponytail. Her skin was tanned from the sun but still paler than Josef's, and she was missing her two top front teeth, as she was waiting for her adult teeth to grow in. She wore a faded pink dress that reached just above her knees and dirty, pink shoes that looked similar to flip flops or sandals, she wore no socks.

Sofia was a year old, with longer hair than a typical infant would have, reaching to her chest. normally her hair would be that length at around three years old, but girls always had longer hair on this planet. It was considered an odd quirk. She had brownish-blond hair, unlike her sister, and small, adorable blue eyes. Her baby teeth had all grown in by now, and she could eat pretty much anything she put her mouth on. She was skinny, and had she been born somewhere else it might have been assumed she was sick though being skinny was, like the hair, common for girls on this planet. She was even paler than her sister, and Josef's father had called her a 'little Korpsman' due to this. Josef wasn't quite sure why his father had taken to calling her that, but he just assumed it was a stupid little nickname. Out of the three of them she was the one with the least amount of clothing on, wearing only a soft yellow t-shirt and a cloth diaper made out of animal hide. While she would have been seen as far to underdressed on most world's, on this planet one wore as little as possible, or failing that, as thin a garment as possible, as the heat was atrocious and known to kill you if you stayed in the sun for to long.

Currently the three children were huddled in a corner of the cellar, a single candle their only light source.

"I told you to shut her up!" Josef yelled at Olivia, gesturing towards Sofia angrily. Olivia also began crying and Josef ran his hands down his dirty overalls in anger.

Any attempt at further conversation was shattered as the door to the cellar cracked, something hitting it from the outside. All three children, even Sofia, quieted down as the tough door was hit again. The children watched mutely as the door continued to be pounded.

Sofia started to cry again as the door gave way with one final push. Josef braced himself for the end.

* * *

GitPunta had traced the baby's cry down to the basement, and from there to a side room blocked by a weighty door. While normally he would have just simply shattered the door in a single strike he was worried he could hurt the baby, which would ruin his plan, so he battered it down slowly. When it finally caved in he stepped into the room. There, in the corner of the damp cellar three little 'Umie's cowered.

He spotted two with long hair, of which one was the baby, and one with short hair. He deduced that these 'Umies wouldn't give him a proppa fight, nor would they be of any use to his Warband.

Yet.

His plan was ingenious, dastardly and foolproof.

He would train the two oldest ones to be Orky, and keep the youngest as a pet until it was of proper age to be trained. If he could get them to fight as well as the 'Umie back there, they would be the secret weapon he desperately needed to compete against the other Warbosses he hadn't met yet.

They cowered before him, fearful of him. The baby's cry, he noted, almost sounded like it was crying "Waagh!" GitPunta smiled happily and spoke to the trio in as concise a speech as he could muster.

"Lieten up 'Umies, I'z gotta deal for you. You's come wit me and be da best fighta's eva, you's be real Orky like. You's can be da bestest fighta's eva seen. So how's about it 'Umies?"

The three children didn't move, and the baby merely cried louder. GitPunta chuckled and took their cries as a yes. He picked up the baby and the second oldest in one hand, and grabbed the oldest in the other. They were desperately kicking and punching, trying to get free but GitPunta was much stronger than them. He laughed as the middle child bit him.

"Dat's it 'Umies, jus like dat!" Gleefully, he carried them out of the house and towards the city, where the other Orks were gathering and looting. Their cries going unheeded by GitPunta, who was to busy thinking about how wonderful his newest recruits would be.

* * *

 **So, that was the first chapter. the second chapter will be the end of the 'prologue', shall we call it, then we'll get to the meat of the story.**

 **Note, as I'm not very knowledgeable on Ork society if someone could offer their services as a...consultant of sorts that would be much appreciated.**

 **Additionally, while most fics using this scenario (that is, a child is adopted by aliens/their enemies) would skip ahead vastly I plan to have a lot more chapters focus on the children being children, as I feel massive time skips for a story like this really gloss over the main reason stories like this exist.**

 **As a lot of chapters are going to seem like fluff I'll happily take suggestions for ideas, stuff like feeding, bathing, diapers, boredom etc, just to mix it up a bit and have a few fun chapters here and there.**

 **While this story will absolutely have the "holy fucking God-Emperor Brother Captain, there are humans with those Orks!" scenes those will be few and far between.**

 **Anyway, that's all from me for now. Reviews would be wonderful, or even just follows/favourites. Until next time.**

 **-GWB99.**


	2. Prologue 2

**Wow, that was fast, eh? I'll be honest, this is the fastest I've written for any story, and the odds are this speed will not be a constant. Just an FYI. :)**

 **Right, so, after this chapter we'll be done the prologue and be able to get to the meat of the story. Speaking of such, I'm always looking for ideas for Ork/human interactions. Is there something you want to see the Orks/humans react/interact with? Post it in a review (or a message on reddit, for those of you reading from there) with your idea. Literally give me anything and I'll try to incorporate it, from the grimdark to the fluffy, all ideas are welcome.**

 **Now, onto the chapter...**

* * *

GitPunta happily made his way back to the capital city, where the rest of his Warband was waiting. They had finished looting, and were loading everything onto shuttles they had commandeered/created. While of course, Orks weren't great pilots, GitPunta made sure at least some of his Orks knew how to fly. As he sung a tune about Krumping one thing or another he entered the city proper.

The city was part small town, part gothic quarter, as was common with most Imperial architecture. The streets were cobblestone, and the buildings casted dark, looming shadows upon the streets all day everyday.

In the main square, the Orks were gathering all the loot and warprizes they had taken from the city's former residents. The Orks had already organized the dead into piles, and had thrown them into side streets and alleyways by the dozen to keep the square clear. Had one not seen the fires, massive bloodstains, both Ork and human and masses of Orks (which were impossible to miss) they might have assumed the square was merely empty, and hadn't just been the sight of a battle.

GitPunta's eyes fell upon a beautiful golden statue of the God Emperor right smack dab in the middle of the square, created off-world but sent to the planet by an Inquisitor who had taken a liking to the sad little planet. The statue was untouched by the battle and bloodshed that had broken out literally at its feet, as evidenced by the blood stained sandbags of the PDF set up around it. It shone an angelic radiance on the square and, for a moment, a small, microscopic moment, GitPunta felt a greater calling he hadn't felt before. He felt as though he had to Purge the Mutant, Kill the Xeno and burn the Heretic, all for the glorious Imperium of Man.

But then he remembered why he was here and casually ordered a group of Boyz to desecrate the statue, which they did gleefully, shooting it and covering it in Orkish iconography.

The children had grown awfully quiet wrapped up in GitPunta's massive hands, whether that was because they realized that GitPunta's offer to be more Orky was the best offer they had ever had, or that they had been knocked unconscious due to the constant jostling GitPunta didn't know but as he set them down atop a destroyed Leman Russ, one of the only three Leman Russ's the planet's PDF was able to afford, he realized it was the latter as the oldest nearly fell off the tank before GitPunta caught him. Mind you, he didn't know it was a him, nor did he know the other two were female, but GitPunta didn't think to check, certainly not now anyway.

As the unconscious children came into view of the other Orks all activity in the square stopped as the Orks caught sight of the three little 'Umies.

The children were in odd positions, and, had they been conscious they would have felt extremely uncomfortable. The boy was leaning on his side, his arm bent uncomfortably against the cold metal of the tank. The middle child was on her back, halfway off the tank with her head and most of her upper body dangling off the side, her head occasionally bumping the side Bolter Sponson. The baby was lying facedown on the tank, giving the cold metal an unknowing kiss.

The gaggle of Orks approached slowly, wondering why their Warboss had returned with three pathetic little 'Umies. Many assumed they were food or entertainment, and so grinned and waited for their Warboss to speak. Instead of speaking to them all, he pointed at one random Boy, carrying a looted PDF Lasgun.

"You! Summon da Nobz! We'z 'avin a WAAAGH meetun!" GitPunta then bellowed loudly for all the rest to hear as the other Ork scampered off to find the Nobz. "DA REST A YAH GITS GET OUTTA DA SQUARE WE'Z 'AVIN A WAAAAAAAGH MEETUN!"

"Oi, Boss, wadda we guna do wit da loot? We'z been puttin it 'ere for collectin!" One of the other Boyz yelled out.

"Ya git! We use the ruuf tops!" Another Boy stated. GitPunta was proud of that Boy, he could be a good leader some day. which meant GitPunta would have to kill him soon, else his smarts usurped his rule. The other Boyz and Gretchins nodded and got to work, and by the time the Nobz had arrived the square was clear of loot and Orks.

The Nobz of GitPunta's retinue, of which there were three, eyed the children with everything from suspicion to bloodlust as they stopped and formed a line in front of the Warboss.

In order of favouritism was GitPunta's most trusted Nob, Squigglicker, who earned his name by licking over twenty Squiggs in ten minutes. He was covered head to toe in armour, and carried two looted Imperial StormBolters affixed to his wrists. He was GitPunta's most trusted as every time some Boy tried to usurp the ruling council he dealt with them personally.

Next was Mekkawhiz, who wasn't very good with mechanics at all, but acted as the level headed and reasonable one, an Ork Kommando, he was a master at stealth and subterfuge and often came up with the more outrageous plans used by the small Waaagh. GitPunta knew out of the three of them, he would take to the idea the best, if only to see the 'Umies get killed in fun and Orky ways. He was the least combat focused of the trio, and carried a simple suppressed Autogun that fired special ammo he had 'created'. He wore a mockery of a ghille suit, and q gas ask fashioned after the ones worn by the Death Korpsman of Krieg, who he had fought once upon a time. An odd quirk about him was he could actully speak Low Gothic quite well, better then even other Kommandoz, and could, based on grammar alone, be mistaken for a lower hiveworlder.

Finally there was GrotFucker, who's name needed no description. He was completely nude and covered head to toe in blood from the recent battle. He carried two Big Choppa's, both chain axes, which he had named Killy and Cutty. He was a berserker in every sense of the word and GitPunta was most worried about him killing the 'Umies before they were ready.

"Nows listen up. You'z iz my most trusted Boyz, and I'z gotta new plan fur da WAAAAGH!" GitPunta stated before gesturing to the unconscious children, patting the youngest lightly on its diapered rear for emphasis.

"Deez 'Umies are mine, and I'z gunna train dem to be Orky. None of da Boyz, or you'z," he stressed, looking at GrotFucker with a glare, "are gunna touch 'em witout my permissin. Ya got dat?"

"But Boss, why?" GrotFucker asked, looking at the trio of humans like an animal waiting to strike. The ideas tossing and turning in his head were to many to count. He could eat the littlest one, or use it as a ball, or a hammer, or a stool, or a wipe to clean his unmentionables. The other two could be used as servents, or target practice, or ornaments and decoration, he could even use all three of them as entertainment, putting them in a ring with a rabid Sqiggoth to see who could live the longest.

But GitPunta ended his mental fun by yelling in his face.

"CUZ I'Z DA BOSS AN' I SAY'Z DEY'R MINE! NOW GET LOST, 'EFORE I PUNT YA SORRY 'EAD TO DA MOON!" GrotFucker looked dejected and saddened by his Warboss's order, but, like a good Nob nodded and left, cursing and swearing at the children as he went.

He would be watching the children like a hawk, waiting for them to slip up so he could clobber them into paste.

The other two Nobs, realizing GitPunta actually meant business in regards to this plan both evaluated the odds this would affect the hierarchy.

Mekkawhiz realized that the children would be treated at the very best like the Boyz lowest on the totem poll, and at the very worst as not much more than slaves and pets. He agreed with the plan, under the condition that when they reached maturity he get to choose one to be his 'assistant'. GitPunta deemed that an acceptable offer, though stressed that in no way was the child chosen to end up like the last assistant Mekkawhiz had had.

Squigglicker noted mentally that he was still the only Ork who had stopped usurpations time and again, and so he agreed to the plan with the condition that, if any of the 'Umies tried to usurp the hierarchy he could put them down. Though, of course, he said it quite more Orky than that.

"I'z agree bu' on one condition!" He had stated. "If any of dos 'Umies tries ta Krump us Nobz or da Boss, I'z get's ta flay dem alive an wearz their skullz as a trophy!"

GitPunta had looked back at the children lying on the tank for a moment, as though wondering whether they would actually try and usurp his rule. Considering one was leaning against the main gun, his arm bent unnaturally and his head pressed against the hull, another was lightly bouncing her head off a Bolter Sponson, and the last was drooling on the tank and spent her days sleeping, crying, eating and soiling herself, not that he knew this of course, he doubted they would usurp him anytime soon.

"I'z agree. Now, let's notify da other Boyz-" GitPunta started to say as he heard the baby begin to cry behind him. All three Orks turned to look at the human child.

It had rolled itself over onto its back and was flailing its arms and legs wildly, and it's cries pieced the relative calm of the city. It had probably began crying due to the unfamiliar surroundings, the Orks literally breathing down its neck, or the smell of the dead Leman Russ crew, who the Orks had been unable to dislodge from their tank. A few Orks looked out from windows and doorways to investigate the noise before heading back inside, the infant's cries hurting their ears.

GitPunta couldn't have been more proud.

"Oi," Squigglicker said, "it sounds like it's saying WAAAGH."

"Dat's wut I thoughts tu." GitPunta said with a grin as he watched the child fruitlessly cry it's eyes out. "Funny, in'it?"

"We have to make sure it knows who's Boss, Boss." Mekkawhiz said. GitPunta muttered his agreement, wondering to himself why he hadn't done so sooner as he leaned over the infant, his large form blocking the setting sun. In the Orkiest voice he could muster he screamed in her face.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" His warcry sent mounds of spit flying from his mouth in a wet charge, as though his very saliva had taken on the form of Orks and charged to Krump sum 'eads. The baby was drenched with his dirty, smelly spittle and she paused her cries for only a moment of surprise as the spit drenched her.

The trio of Orks looked at the still crying little human with happy eyes and grinning faces.

"Da other Boyz woulda stopped Waaghing if you'z had dun dat to em Boss." Squigglicker said, looking at the spit covered infant like it had just said its first words.

"You'z right Squigglicker. Even GrotFucker woulda stopped I'z WAAAGH." GitPunta replied, his tone almost affectionate towards the little thing.

It was at that moment the other two children awoke.

* * *

Josef didn't wake up screaming like he thought he would, no, he woke up groggily, wondering where he was any why his arm hurt so much.

Then he heard Sofia's cries and it all came rushing back. He let a single tear fall, knowing his father was dead before he steeled himself for whatever came next. If that meant his death, they so be it. He would join the God Emperor, and be with his father again. He took a heavy breath then turned to face the crying infant and saw the Ork Warboss and two of his Nobs staring at him. Instead of screaming, or trying to run, as he knew such a gesture was futile. His eyes looked around him. He saw that he was in a city square, the Capital, most likely was the city, and he realized he was on top of a Leman Russ Tank.

He saw Sofia crying her eyes out and it looked like she was covered in a liquid of some sort. It definitely smelled bad, though, it was possible Sofia had soiled herself, which, he realized was quite likely, or he could have been smelling the rotting corpses of the city, which was just as likely.

He then saw Olivia wake up in a panic as she ended up wildly spasming in fear, this sent her falling off the side of the tank. Josef couldn't see (or hear, due to Sofia's cries) if she hit the ground but he saw the Ork Warboss, at least that's what he thought it was, as it looked similar to how his father had described them, reach down lightning fast and moments later pull his palm up, which held Olivia, who was kicking and screaming for all she was worth. At the angle Josef was at he could quite clearly see the five year old had soiled herself, recently, if the ever growing stain on her undergarments was any indication.

Josef internally sighed, of course those stupid girls would be so scared as to piss themselves. It seemed like he was the only one who could actually face down an Ork with a modicum of dignity.

If Sofia hadn't started crying, maybe they would still be hidden in the cellar, maybe they wouldn't be in this mess. But he had to think about how to get out. For now he was trapped, that was clear as day, but the Ork had said he wanted to train him...

He thought back on everything his father had told him, all the pieces of advice he had soaked up over the years. Out of them all, one in particular stood out to him.

 _"Opportunities are everywhere, know of them, take them if you will. They could be the difference between life and death."_

"Hey, Ork!" Josef yelled over the baby's cries. As though a single entity, all three Orks simultaneously faced him, the Warboss still holding the struggling Olivia. "You said you were going to train us?" He asked.

The Warboss nodded his head, looking almost comical. "Dat's right 'Umie, we'z gunna train ya ta be Orky."

Josef placed his hand over Sofia's mouth, not enough to cut off her airflow, but enough to muffle her cries so he could speak without yelling, and think without a crying baby disrupting his thoughts. He noted with disgust she _was_ covered in an almost gooey liquid and made sure to remember to wash his hand later.

"And will we stay here, on this planet? Or go with you?" Josef asked as the Warboss plopped Olivia rather roughly back onto the tank.

"Why you'z come wit me o'course!" The Ork Warboss bellowed. "How else can ya WAAAGH wit da otha Boyz?"

"So we'll leave this planet, and go to another Imperial one?" Josef asked hopefully. Olivia seemed to realize what he meant, as her cries and screams turned to near silent whimpers as she listened to the two talk.

"Dat's right 'Umie-" The Warboss had begun to say before one of the smaller, but still massive Orks, this one wearing heaps of armour, spoke up in an almost guttural language of grunts and growls. The Warboss seemed to consider whatever the smaller Ork had said as it turned back to look at the children.

"now's, 'efore we'z go any furda, we'z gots'ta give you some Orky names." The Warboss explained. "Else none 'o da Boyz are gunna take you seriously."

Josef had no intention of having his name replaced and opened his mouth to state as such but Olivia beat him to it. Speaking her first actual sentence since this whole ordeal had began.

"B-but we already h-have names." She said quietly between whimpers, though, she had always been quiet, Josef considered that a weakness, which, in his eyes, was all the more reason he would need to protect her. Josef nodded in agreement and opened his mouth again when he felt something clamp down on his finger.

He tried yanking his hand up amid a yell and found his finger being bitten by little Sofia, who had bit down on his pointer finger. Using his other hand, and the fingers not being clamped down on the hand closest to the infant's mouth he managed to pry her mouth open. His finger had teeth mark indents around it and it was extremely red. He yelled at her and used a few curses he had heard his father use once or twice.

Sofia didn't look like she was bothered in the slightest by his harsh tone, and Josef actually heard her giggling. Well, that wasn't technically true, he saw, more than heard, as with every little giggle she made some of the liquid that she had been covered in was shaken off. He couldn't hear as the Orks were laughing like mad.

The Warboss reached in between Josef, slightly shoving the boy out of the way, and picked up the infant. He was laughing jovially, and his whole body shook with every laugh, causing Sofia to bounce up and down, only increasing her own giggling.

"Dat's a gudd little Bitey!" He said before his eyes lit up and, had this been one of the comics Josef had occasionally read, he wouldn't have been suprisd to see a candle light up above the Ork's massive head. "Dat yur name from now on 'Umie! Bitey!"

"W-what about u-us?" Olivia asked as her baby sister was bounced around like a ball. The Ork's expression soured for a moment, and Josef was worried Olivia had made the Ork angry.

His fear was unfounded as the Ork merely said, "youz'll get yur names in time 'Umies. Now come along, we'z on a tight schedule!" He yelled before sticking a grimy, disgusting finger between Sofia's now dirty, spit drenched shirt and using his other hand and fingers to grab and pick up Josef and Olivia, who protested by screaming, and carrying them towards one of the waiting shuttles the Orks had commandeered.

Their time on this planet was finished and, like everything else in the system, the planet wouldn't be found by a trader for another decade, the planet, and those who fought and died on it, disappeared into obscurity.

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 **So, that was the second chapter and now we're finished the Prologue and can get to the children's introduction to Ork society.**

 **If your confused on the children's names and ages here they are from oldest to youngest.**

 **Josef, 10 years old, male.**

 **Olivia, 5 years old, female.**

 **Sofia(Bitey), 1 year old, female.**

 **Once agsin, if you have any idea's for interactions and culture shock moments for either humans or Orks let me know.**

 **Now don't forget to follow/favourite and review. You don't need an account on to review.**


	3. Chapter 1: New Home

**You all probably thought this story was dead, didn't you? I admit, it very nearly ended up dead. With my new job, school, Reddit, and losing almost all my Fanfiction documents (darned USB!) I haven't really had the time or energy to write, but I have been, off and on, and while this chapter was going to be longer, I'm semi satisfied with it, enough to post it, anyway.**

 **Thanks to all who reviewed or PM'd me, I've taken all your ideas into account, and will be using most all of them. Speaking of, don't forget to review, it makes me write faster. (Seriously, it does.)**

 **One more final set up chapter here,then we get to the meat of the story! Finally. :)**

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Josef would have liked to say his first moment in space was one of amazement and wonder, that he saw his home world drifting lazily beneath him, that he could see it in all its wonder and breathtaking beauty.

But he couldn't see. The shuttle they were in, a beat up Imperial Navy Arvus Lighter painted in the red and green paint scheme of GitPunta's group, had no windows for him to see out of, and, even if it did have windows, he wouldn't have been able to see anyway. He, like Olivia and Sofia (or, as the Orks called her, Bitey, though Josef would never resort to calling her that if he could help it), were pressed tightly against one of the three Nobz or the Warboss. He was pressed against the left thigh of one of the Nobz, the one who was wearing the camouflage. Olivia was forced against the hull of the shuttle and rthe Nob wearing the armour, his knee digging into her back as she let out silent, pained breaths. Sofia ended up having the worst position out of the three of them, at least that's what Josef thought.

The little girl was being held by her t-shirt, which was stretched to its limit by the Warboss. To Josef it seemed as though he and the last Ork to join them, a naked, blood covered beast of a Xeno, were having a stare down, and Sofia was the winner's prize. She was lazily spinning from side to side, her little legs and arms flailing in happiness, completely oblivious to their predicament.

What none of the children were oblivious to, however, was the smell. The Orks, who had smelled disgusting on the planet smelled even worse in the tight confines of the shuttle. Josef had many times forced his lunch back down out of fear the Orks might injure him if he threw up on them, the rate at which they were climbing, rocketing towards whereever the Orks had come from, was taking it's toll on the three children as well. The ride was bumpy and rough, and Josef was constantly hitting the camo Ork's leg.

Out of the three of them, it was Sofia who couldn't hold back her lunch, throwing up all over the Warboss before immediately beginning to cry right after. Josef held his breath and waited to see how the Ork would react. For a moment, nobody moved, all eyes glued to the Warboss as he looked from his bile covered self to the crying infant he held by the shirt.

He frowned and Josef closed his eyes and tried not to imagine what Sofia would look like after being slammed against a wall. Instead of hearing the splat he thought he'd hear, he heard...sucking?

Josef opened his eyes and saw, to his utter amazement and confusion, Sofia sucking on one of the Warboss's large fingers like it was a pacifier. Josef was amazed the little girl could fit the large finger inside her mouth, and, from what he could see, the girl's mouth was stretched more than it probably should have been, but she didn't seem to mind. The Warboss seemed just as perplexed as Josef, his face looking almost comically confused as the little girl continued to use his finger like an oversized pacifier.

"Oi, Bitey, what're ya doing?" He asked though it sounded more like a yell in the cramped quarters of the shuttle. Sofia didn't reply to the Warboss, but the group could hear a steady "num num num" coming from the infant's mouth. The Warboss turned his head towards Josef. "What'z Bitey doin 'Umie?"

Josef managed a shrug and, trying to seem brave simply replied, "Bitey," he said, hiding his revulsion of using the Ork name, "is using your finger as a pacifier."

"A wot?" The big beastly Ork asked angrily. "Speak sense 'Umie, 'efore I gobble ya up like a Squigg!"

Josef felt spittle drench him and wiped his face with his shirt. "A pacifier. Baby's use it to calm down." He mouthed, trying to force his own lunch back down his throat.

"Dat's stupid." The Ork kneeing Olivia stated, waving his arms around for emphasis. Josef had to duck so as to avoid one of the arms. "E'eryone knowz da best way ta calm down is ta klobba sum gits!"

"For an Ork, maybe." Josef replied, "but we aren't Orks, and never will be."

"Ah," The Warboss said, pulling his finger out of Sofia's mouth with a *pop*, a small, thin line of saliva, both his own from when he had spit on Sofia and hers, trailing between them. The Warboss jabbed the finger towards Josef to enunciate his point. "You'z not Orks _yet_ , but ya will be once we train you'z."

Josef was about to argue when he heard the pilot of the shuttle activate the Vox.

" _Dakka Figgite dis iz dah Boss's shuttle, requestin' pemission ta land in 'anga bay Dakka, ova."_ The pilot said. From what Josef could tell they were close to their destination.

 _"Rogga rogga shuttle, you Boyz iz clear fur landun, da emphrah protects!"_ Josef was flabbergasted, had an Ork just said "The Emperor Protects?" It was impossible, a mistake, surely an Ork didn't see He who was most Holy as a deity!

Josef's crisis of faith was ended promptly when he head the Ork on the other end of the Vox laugh. _"I always wanted to say dat! Ha, stupid 'Umie's!"_

The shuttle continued its journey and a few minutes Josef heard a hissing noise and the shuttle dropped suddenly to the deck. He felt weightless for a moment before hitting his chin off the Camo Ork's knee and falling flat on his back. Pushing the pain to the back of his mind he shakily stood up. Olivia was picking herself up off the ground, and Sofia had fallen into the Warboss's lap, somehow he still had her held by her shirt.

The back ramp of the shuttle opened and Josef got his first look at his new home.

It was a hanger bay, definitely on an Imperial warship if Josef took the architecture into account, though, like with everything the Orks touched it was defaced by all manner of colours and addons, metal plates grafted to the floor, gigantic banners showing some Ork design Josef couldn't place, firepits were placed haphazardly around the hanger, and groups of Gretchin were gathered around them. The hanger was part hanger and part meeting ground.

"Where are we?" Olivia asked timidly, fearfully looking at the mass of Gretchin. She grabbed Josef's arm, probably for comfort or reassurance. Josef didn't tell her to take her arm away from him, as he would have in any other circumstance. He stared mutely at the Gretchin as they slowly stood up and, many brandishing weapons, slowly advanced upon the shuttle and more accurately the humans inside it.

Josef took a step back, as did Olivia before he felt the form of one of the Nobz hitting his back. The Nob bellowed loudly, in Low Gothic.

"These 'Umie's are the Warboss's property!" The Nob said. Josef assumed it was the camo one he had been pressed against, though he didn't check to look.

The Gretchin seemed to stop and consider this, before one brandished a large knife and rushed the two children. It only managed to take a single step before it was shot through the head, it's skull exploding in a violent and brutal display of gore and bone fragments.

Josef looked behind him at the Warboss, who was holding a smoking shoota in one hand, and Sofia in the other.

"YA GITS! DEEZ 'UMIES 'RE MINE! NONE OF YOUZ CAN TOUCH UM, YA GOT DAT?" The Warboss yelled angrily. The Gretchin parted ways for the Warboss, who happily walked down the ramp of the shuttle, carrying Sofia, who had started to cry again, proudly like a trophy. The Nobz forced Olivia and Josef to follow him, so they did with as little fuss as they could muster.

it wouldn't do to die now, after all.

As the group left the hanger and entered the many hallways heading to wherever the Orks were taking them Josef took a moment to scan his surroundings.

The hallways were dark, sparsely lit by candles every few dozen feet. The ground was wet and slick with something, but in the low light Josef couldn't make it out, and he didn't think he wanted to anyway. The air was moist and musky, similar to a swamp, perhaps, or a marsh, and it smelled putrid. The Imperial architecture had been defaced by all manner of Ork designs and symbols, the sight made Josef sick.

As the group ascended flights of stairs, Josef noticed the quality of the ship seemed to be improving. Orkified as it was that was hard to see, but, had this been an untainted ship Josef had no doubt that they were heading to the Officer's quarters.

The group entered a large, open room that at one point might have been a meeting room, or something similar. Now, however, it looked like an animal pen. Cages lined the walls, and what looked like food, chunky, liquidy food, was spaced out all around the room. All the cages were empty, though, they definitely had occupants at one point. Whatever those occupants were, Josef didn't know, nor did he want to find out. He plugged his nose from the smell that had assaulted his nostrils since the moment he stepped into the room, it was horrid, disgusting, like someone had neglected to clean up after themselves for months on end.

Josef looked at one cage. It was large, and what looked like a water and food bowl were placed inside, no bed, or sleeping mat, however.

Millions of questions flooded the boy's mind. Was this some sort of slave pen? Were they destined to be used like slaves? Worn out and beaten by Orks for manual labour?

He he was so focused on his thoughts that he didn't hear the sound until it was already to late.

 _riiiii_ _p!_

he knew it was coming, eventually, Olivia did as well, judging by her expression, but the Orks seemed surprised as Sofia's shirt ripped apart, the bright yellow fabric stretched to much and to far by the Warboss. The infant, still crying, fell from the big Ork's hand like a rock a good six feet.

Thankfully, she was saved from harm by landing in one of the piles of food scattered about in the floor, belly-flopping into the dark pile.

Josef heard the _squelch_ as she landed and averted his eyes, Sofia's cries muffled by the food so he didn't have to cover his ears.

The Ork trio frowned almost in unison, the big, beastly Ork looked angry but the Warboss let out a sigh before he could take his anger out on anyone.

"Bitey," The Warboss said in an annoyed tone as Sofia flailed about, trying to get free. "No playin' in da Sqigg droppings! That's supposed 'ta 'appen tomorrow!" With an annoyed grunt he fished the now dirty baby out of the pile as Josef threw up his lunch, breakfast, and previous day's meals in one go.

The Warboss gestured to one of the other Orks to grab a cage at random while he looked at the two halves of Sofia's tattered shirt in confusion, presumably thinking about what to do with the material. Finally, after seemingly much thought, he grabbed a sharp, thin piece of metal that could at first be mistaken for a quill and drove it through the shirt and Sofia's diaper at the waist, making a sort of loin cloth. After dulling the edge of the metal, he did the same on the back of the diaper with the other piece of the shirt and an identical piece of metal.

Satisfied, the big Warboss abruptly grabbed Josef and Olivia, carrying them over his massive, armoured shoulder with little trouble despite their protests as the group left the room, the beastly Ork having grabbed a cage.

They left the room and went three corridors down and to, what Josef assumed, was the Captain's quarters. It was large, and, to Josef's dismay, was just as ransacked and desecrated as the rest of the ship. Extravagant wood and marble cracked and shattered, paintings worth more than Josef's entire planet ruined and ripped, cutlery so shiny turned to bent, rusted shells of their former selves. It made Josef sick as he looked on the rooms.

The front entrance and lounge room had been turned into some perverted Ork shrine, the kitchen turned into some type of laboratory, and Josef didn't even want to think about the bathroom.

The bedroom, however, looked the least changed, with only a few holes in the royal red wall, and the tattered white silk sheets and pillows of the bed to show that anything remiss had occurred.

The beastly Ork dropped the cage in a corner of the room and the Warboss, who Josef assumed was called Gitpunta, casually placed the still crying Sofia inside. The cage was much to small for either of the other two children, Sofia couldn't even sit up fully, and so Josef was at a loss as to where he and Sofia would be.

"Alright 'Umies, dis is where youz's gunna stay. Bitey is in dat cage, 'an you two 'aave da bed, 'ya got dat, 'ya gits?" Gitpunta asked as he threw the two children onto the bed without a care for their wellbeing.

Josef wanted to protest, and very nearly did, but Gitpunta and his posse had already left the room, calling out "Now get sum rest my little 'Umies, we'z gotta big day 'head 'a us tomorraw!"

The boy sighed and turned to look at Olivia, who had sat back up and was leaning agsint the backboard of the once beautiful engraved bed frame. Josef could see her tears steadily falling, and decided to leave her be, for now. Sofia had ceased her cries and had transitioned to quiet whimpers, allowing Josef some much needed time to think.

He had to escape, somehow, leave this wretched ship and disgusting Orks behind, yet, every idea he had seemed more impossible than the last, and each time he realized this he grew more and more angry, stewing in his anger for hours at each impossible idea caused him to finally explode in a tidal wave of anger as he took out his frustrations on the closest person to him, Olivia, who had continued to softly cry and hadn't moved since the Orks had left.

"Emperor damnit! Why the hell are you just sitting there!" He cried as he roughly shoved Olivia, causing her to fall of the bed with a surprised scream. "Help me think!"

The five year old hit the floor with a *thud*, and kept crying as Josef continued to verbally abuse her. "Fucking help me, you worthless Grox! We need to get out of here, and I can't do everything! So stop fucking crying, and help me come up with ideas to get out of here!" He sent his foot flying towards her side as he tried to kick her, but came up short and simply decided to fall back onto the bed in exasperation. "You can take the floor tonight, you don't deserve a bed." He said, suddenly becoming tired.

For the first of many nights, Josef fell asleep angry, amid the cries of the two girls he had been entrusted to protect, yet wanted nothing to do with.

While he didn't know it, in a way, the three of them were lucky, this would be the best night of sleep they would have for years to come.

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Outside the Captain's quarters, on the bridge, Gitpunta strode forth with purpose lacked by many of his kind. his eyes drifted slightly to the left of the bridge entrance, where a small replica model of an ancient sailing warship resided. It was painstakingly crafted by the Frigate's former Captain, and he could make out the words _HMS Victory, 1765,_ delicately engraved on the stand below it.

"Kinlky, Status report!" He cried as he turned his eyes away from the untouched model to face another Nob, the commander of the captured Imperial ship.

This Nob had dressed himself up to look like a typical pirate from the ages of Terra's past, though, he didn't know this and told any other Ork who brought it up, which was no one, that he had come up with the idea himself.

Kinlky saluted Gitpunta and replied jovially. "Ship an' crew acconted fur', all the loot iz in da hold, and da Boy's 'er ready ta go!"

"Then full steam ahead, Kinlky!" Gitpunta yelled with a maniacal laugh as he felt the ship lurch forwards suddenly, throwing an unlucky Gretchin across the room.

As the ship settled into a 'steady' speed, one of the lower ranked Boy's serving as Bridge Security approached Gitpunta cautiously.

"Uh...Boss, We'z gotta situation..." The large Warboss turned his nine foot frame towards the Boy, and looked at him like a snobby King would a lowly Serf.

"What do you mean A SITUATION?!" He growled as he sent spit flying at the Ork Boy.

"Uh...well, You see's, Boss, nun 'o' da Boy's wanna go in the Chapel, Boss." The Ork stated, scared. Upon hearing this, Gitpunta's anger deflated immediately. The ship's Chapel was a large, dark, gothic room that had no interest to Gitpunta, and he could care less what happened to the centre of Imperial prayer on the ship. Yes, there had been heavy fighting in the room when his Warband had taken the Frigate, but anything that had been alive in there most certainly had to be dead, Gitpunta could confirm that, after all, his belly had grown quite large after that fight. All that was left in that decaying, decrepit room were statues.

Gitpunta laughed at the Boy and punched him away in delight. "Who cares about sum stupid Chapel, Ya Git? Things 're gunna change soon, ya just wait 'an see!" Gitpunta turned to look at the stars in front of him, each a potential system to plunder, and each a training and breeding ground for his future WAAAGH.

Yes, things were looking up for the Ork, finally.

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 **And we're done with this chapter. I'll be honest, I'm not really satisfied with the children's POV ending, as I think I ended it to abruptly, what are your thoughts?**

 **Next chapter we'll get to the first day of the children's training, and the day will be filled with blood, sweat and tears, as every training day should, am I right? ;)**

 **Until next time, guys and girls.**


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